The Divining Wand

Two years ago Jenny Gardiner debuted with the wickedly funny Sleeping with Ward Cleaver a “romantic” novel for those married awhile and, on Tuesday, March 16, 2010, she returns with her second book, Winging It: Twenty Years of Caring for a Vengeful Parrot Determined to Kill Me. Described as, “A hilarious and poignant cautionary tale about two very different types of creatures, thrown together by fate, who learn to make the best of a challenging situation — feather by feather,” Winging It will be presented/reviewed by The Divining Wand on Monday, March 15, 2010. However, as is tradition, let’s get to know this author from her official bio:

“Jenny Gardiner is the author of the novel Sleeping with Ward Cleaver. Her writing has appeared in Ladies Home Journal, the Washington Post, and NPR’s Day to Day, and she has a column of humorous slice-of-life essays that runs in the Charlottesville, VA Daily Progress. Jenny lives in central Virginia with her husband, three kids, two dogs, one cat, and, of course, a gregarious parrot.”

And now here is Jenny revealed:

Q: How would you describe your life in 8 words?
A: How’s this: Three kids, two dogs, cat, parrot and husband

Q: What is your motto or maxim?
A: I actually do have a motto. I make my kids crazy with it. I am always telling them “It’ll all come out in the wash.” Not to be confused with my maxim, which is “Peace, love, togetherness. Yadda yadda yadda.”

Q: How would you describe perfect happiness?
A: Everyone’s getting along, no bills to be paid.

Q: What’s your greatest fear?
A: Believe it or not, my greatest fear growing up was tsunamis. Yes, a child of middle American, not a shoreline within a ten-hour drive. Now, I don’t know. That’s hard to pinpoint. But probably external forces so out of my control so
something I try to not think about. If I watched the news, I’d be scared of my own shadow, so I do avoid the news.

Q: If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose to be?
A: Without doubt, I would be stretched out on catamaran soaking in the sun with family and friends in the British Virgin Islands. Close second would be anywhere in Italy. Close third would be on safari in Africa.

Q: With whom in history do you most identify?
A: Sheesh. In all of history. That’s tough question. I’ll have to get back to you on that because I’m
drawing a blank!

Q: Which living person do you most admire?
A: Hmm…off the top of my head, I really admire Michelle Obama. I think she is a role model that young girls should aspire to–intelligence, elegance, dignity, and great grace.

Q: What are your most overused words or phrases?
A: “Like,” “Uh,” “Um,” “It’ funny, but.” All of which I am guilty of overusing to death!

Q: If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?
A: I would love to be artist. To be able to see something and render it on paper would be so very cool. I would also love to be fluent in several languages.

Q: What is your greatest achievement?
A: My children.

Q:What’s your greatest flaw?
A: I seem to be incapable of sticking to a diet for more than twelve minutes. I’m also guilty of impatience, and disorganization.

Q: What’s your best quality?
A: I think I’m very friendly.

Q: What do you regret most?
A: Oh, I don’t know. I don’t like to dwell on what-if’s. I can’t really think of anything I regret.

Q: If you could be any person or thing, who or what would it be?
A: It might be interesting to be an elephant for a day. Oh, wait, maybe a panda bear! Or a polar bear. As long as I went into it with a full belly and didn’t have to eat baby seals or mass volumes of bamboo leaves or baobob leaves LOL

Q: What trait is most noticeable about you?
A: I often crack jokes about anything and everything. Sometimes to a fault.

Q: Who is your favorite fictional hero?
A: Holden Caulfield

Q: Who is your favorite fictional villain?
A: I never like the villains. I have a strong sense of right and wrong so I don’t care for the bad guys.

Q: If you could meet any athlete, who would it be and what would you say to him or her?
A: Sheesh. Maybe Tiger Woods and just smack him upside the head and ask him “What the hell were you thinking, you idiot???”

Q: What is your biggest pet peeve?
A: Seriously? I hate pee on toilet seats. Is that crass? (yes, another of my flaws, I tend to be honest even if it involves being crass!).

Q: What is your favorite occupation, when you’re not writing?
A:I love spending time with my family. Or if you really forced me, I’d suck it up and enjoy a massage, daily…

Q: What’s your fantasy profession?
A: I’m doing it. Now if only it was financially rewarding enough to allow me to continue doing it without having to seek another job, which is on the horizon with our second child going into college…

Q: What 3 personal qualities are most important to you?
A: Honesty, kindness, consideration.

Q: If you could eat only
one thing for the rest of your days, what would it be?
A: OMG, hands down it would be my mom’s banana cream pie. And maybe then I would finally, finally, finally be sick of it.

Q: What are your 5 favorite songs?
A: Ack, such pressure! I have so many thousands of songs on my iPod…Let me think what I always love to hear…

Everything by Michael Buble; Extraordinary by Mandy Moore; Daughters by John Mayer; Don’t Let Him Steal Your Heart Away by Phil Collins; Meeting Across the River by Bruce Springsteen

Q: What are your 5 favorite books of all time?
A: In God We Trust All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd; Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger. Those two always stay in the top two. The other three are always in flux, depending on what I’m reading and what’s stuck with me. Lately I’ve really enjoyed reading Ad Hudler– his novel House Husband is so very well-written and so very insightful, I just enjoyed that read. Books that make me laugh: Jonathan Tropper’s Everything Changes and Bob Flaherty’s Puff.

There are far, far too many books to list them all and I feel terrible I’m not putting all of my friend’s books on the list!

Yes, Jenny is funny, sassy, and very friendly. Enjoy more of her company by becoming a follower on Twitter and/or a friend on Facebook.